


Things he feared wanting

by WatchforWitches



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Compliant, Domestic, For the most part, Lightwood-Bane - Freeform, M/M, Parenthood, TFTSA, adopting Max, lightwood-bane family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 01:46:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17194172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchforWitches/pseuds/WatchforWitches
Summary: Magnus looked at the little boy and knew then more than ever that Alec wanted for them to keep the baby. He felt his face soften, thinking of all the ways this might play out.-Written for the prompt "You’re cute when you’re angry" but got quickly out of hand. Ties a little bit into the TFTSA novella Born to Endless Night. Completely too mushy for something meant to be a quick writing exercise.





	Things he feared wanting

Magnus was pacing around their bedroom, running his hands through his spiked hair, sighing heavily as sparks of angry red magic flew from his fingertips. “I cannot believe it, I can’t believe that poor babies mother would do that.”

The poor baby Magnus was referring to, was asleep in Alec’s arm at the very moment. _Who could ever love it?_ Was written on the note left with the little blue bundle on the steps of the Shadowhunter Academy. Alec found the note to be frankly ridiculous, because looking at the sleeping boy in his arms, Alec couldn’t imagine anyone not loving him. “Some people are just cruel, Mag.”

Magnus looked at his boyfriend with the warlock child in his arms and felt a flash of both love and anger rise in his throat. “Alexander she left a warlock baby on the steps of the academy of shadowhunters, who, no offence to you my love, haven’t had a very good reputation of taking in downworlder strays. What did she think would happen? How could she leave this baby knowing he might go to the Clave?”

“Maybe she left him at the academy because she knew he would be saved?” Alec proposes, not wanting to believe that any mother would be so cruel as to let their baby die. 

Magnus stops his pacing and sighs, sitting next to Alec on the bed, careful as to not disturb the sleeping boy. “Maybe,” Magnus admitted, hoping to share in some of his boyfriend’s optimism.

Alec knew that at least part of Magnus’ anger was coming from his own life, his own cruel abandonment that left him debilitated when he dwelled too long on it. “Hey, it's okay,” Alec assured his boyfriend, using his free hand to grab his arm, “No one is going to hurt him. I promise.”

Magnus looked at the little boy and knew then more than ever that Alec wanted for them to keep the baby. He felt his face soften, thinking of all the ways this might play out. 

“You're cute when you angry,” Alec chided him, jostling him slightly while also desperately trying to not wake the boy. 

Magnus simply rolled his eyes at this. Happy, if for no other reason than Alec was here and paying him high praise, two things Magnus from the not so far off past could not have predicted. The Alec Lightwood before him was a different man than the boy that Magnus had met, he was so sure of himself now, of his place and his life. Magnus beamed. It was all his shadowhunter deserved. “What to do about this baby,” Magnus wondered aloud, ignoring Alec's quip, looking at him stoney and serious.

Alec stayed quiet in a way that was heavy. In a way that Magnus knew meant Alec wanted something he didn't know how to ask for. Their early relationship was filled with these heavy silences, fulfilled only when Magnus deciphered what it was that Alec needed or wanted. “He needs a family,” Magnus spoke to maybe connect the dots carefully, “And his family needs to love him, and raise him to be more than the lost thing his birth mother almost let him become.”

The air was quiet between them, silence broken only by the babies quick gurgles in sleep. “We could be his family,” Alec spoke softly, but his voice held all the steady conviction needed to tell Magnus he was serious. “We could love him.” Alec spoke as if he didn't already love this boy, this small helpless thing that quieted in his grasp and slept softly against his heartbeat.  

Magnus gazed at his boyfriend and realized all at once how young Alec was really. He was reminded sometimes, when Alec and Jace jostled with one another, when Alec was sleeping softly face unbothered by the waking world and its problems, when he looked at Magnus like he held all the answers. Alec was just a boy, in the grand scheme of so much, but he wanted this fiercely and Magnus could tell that also. “Do you want that?” He asked. The question had many more layers than just the face value yes or no answer. Do you want to raise a child with me? Do you think we are ready? Are you prepared to accept the judgement of raising a downworlder boy as your own? Are you ready? 

“Yes,” Alec replied easily, but with a tone that told Magnus he understood the complexity of this and the question itself, but his answer would still be yes. “I want to try. I know you don't get to try and parent, it's not a responsibility that you can give up, I know. But I want to. I was raised to think that my duty in life was to have children to carry on a name. But children are more than just a placeholder for a name and I never dreamed myself lucky enough to have one. If I can raise this child, love him and give him a good life, with the man I love that I never dreamt of having, than I want to. I've always wanted to be a father, so if you want him too, if you want this too, than I am ready to take that responsibility on.” 

Magnus was always unfurled by just how easily Alec managed to conjure words to bare his soul. Magnus had been alive for centuries, he knew many languages, but he would never find words as easily manipulated as Alec did. Despite his own protests, Alec was a changed man when he spoke from his heart and not his head. Magnus also knew, that he needed to answer the question left hanging like a pin in the air. “There are so many stories of warlock children who weren't given a chance at life because of everything outside their own control. I too was almost lost, like this little boy easily could have been. I also know that I never thought in all my years of life that I would find someone for forever, let alone someone who wanted to raise children with me. I know this baby is different than the ones you may have imagined for yourself, and I know he will be a handful as children always are. I know you are young and I still always forget this fact. But I want a family with you, and I want to save and love this little boy. This baby. Our son.” 

Alec's smile could end wars. It was the brightest happiest thing that Magnus had ever seen and it made his heart flip. Alec was the first person to ever want a child with Magnus, Alec was the first person who said I love you forever and meant it. Magnus would never tire of seeing Alec smile, and he knew that he would never find a reason to let that smile slip. Alec crowded into Magnus’ space and kissed him, as passionate as he could with a sleeping baby at his chest, which was still very passionate. “He needs a name,” Magnus said when Alec finally had pulled away from him. 

“What about Max,” Alec said with a sad hopefulness in his eyes, his own younger brother no longer alive. 

“Max Lightwood,” Magnus nodded, hoping that his son would choose to keep the name forever when time came for him to pick his own. 

“Lightwood-Bane,” Alec answered, looking up at Magnus, “Your name is just as important.” 

Magnus knew this was not true, the Lightwood name meant something, years and years of lineage that his parents were so eager to pass down. Alec saw the thoughts racing in Magnus’ brain, “It's our family Magnus, I want your name there too. When we get married, whenever we can the way we want and deserve, I'm taking the name Lightwood-Bane, I don't want anyone to forget who my wonderful husband is for one second. I won't cheat myself out of a single day without that.” 

Magnus felt the pinpricks of tears in the back of his eyes, he blinked a few times to stop them from falling. Alec Lightwood wanted to take his name, a piece of himself, and wear it forever, whenever the start of that was granted to them the way they needed it to be. Alec said husband and Magnus saw stars, he had been alive a long time, been in love before, but he had never been anyone's husband and no one had ever wanted him to be until Alec. It meant the world to him in ways he couldn't even fathom trying to talk about without crying. He would save it for their vows. For now he just looked at the baby- Max Lightwood-Bane, their baby, their son, forever- and looked at Alec and put his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. “Alright then. Max Lightwood-Bane. That's our sons name.” 

Max shifted in his sleep as if reacting to now having a name, now having parents. They both looked down at him and smiled while he stayed asleep, not stirring once. He was as good as any Lightwood before him, he'd be as powerful as a Bane. He was their son. And he was loved more in that moment than he ever had been in his short 8 month life.

He was their son. And they loved him more than anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos/Comments greatly appreciated. If you have anything you would like me to write, then just drop a request down below. I hope you enjoyed :)


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